The Temptation Towards the Double Life
There is a common temptation to compartmentalize life, usually related to how we spend our time; school, work, home, church, hobbies/interests/activities, etc. With relationships a core part of living in all of these areas of life, the temptation exists then to act differently in each context, and sometimes inconsistent with how the Scriptures describe a follower of Jesus. What is behind these temptations, especially for young people, and how can we help young people fight these temptations?
Where is this coming from by the way? I was talking with a former student who witnessed this very thing this past week in another former student along with another adult. In addition, my own children's story includes the same. Honestly, I myself had fallen into similar temptations, especially in my work context over the years. For all the previous examples, it looks like living one way in the church context but significantly different at school or work. Most noticeable differences are in the words used in everyday conversation or on social media. Saying things I/we shouldn't, not saying things I/we should.
The following are some common underlying reasons for this "double life" way of living:
- I want to belong - approval of man, belonging
- I want others to like me - approval of man, acceptance
- I don't want to be kicked out - fear of man, rejection
- I don't want to stand out - fear of man, disapproval
Where do we go from here?
- Use the Scriptures and others to help identify specific behaviors (words or actions) that are inconsistent with Jesus's life.
- With each identified behavior, identify specific underlying reasons that might apply to that behavior. Start with the previous four, but you may need to add to the list. The "I (don't) want" statements can be revealing and a help to start, but with those ensure you list as many of the specifics as possible, including people, associated thoughts/feelings, etc.
- With the previous, commit to a path of repentance, confessing behaviors that are sinful, turning away from these and deciding ahead which behaviors would honor the Lord and look like Jesus. Lean on the mercy and grace of Jesus Christ, take joy in forgiveness offered through Him, but also further steps may be needed.
- Consider stepping away from the relationships that the previous sinful behaviors occurred in order to grow in relationship with the Lord. With this, identify Biblical truths that would combat the various fears and learn/grow in how the Lord meets these fears in Himself.
- Form accountability in learning/growing in the previous. Lean heavily on “putting on” speech that honors the Lord and builds others up. No better way to get rid of sinful speech than to fill our mouths with words that honor the Lord and others!
- Re-engage in the relationships and assess on-going success in fighting temptation by the Lord's provision in the Spirit, His word, prayer, and one another.
- Help others to accomplish the same, especially other followers of Jesus that you witness falling into the same "double life" temptation. Your story and path of learning and growth can be a challenge and encouragement to others!
"Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it." - 1 Corinthians 10:12-13
“Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.” - Ephesians 4:29