I'm Not Good Enough

When I was in Gulf Shores this past January and February (2024) I did a women's Bible study at First Baptist, “Finding I Am,” by Lysa Terkeurst. Does “I Am” sound familiar? It should be as we studied the seven “I Am’s” in the Gospel of John.

One of the lessons was “I'm Not Good Enough” and it really stuck out as good subject material for a counseling article. In the years I have counseled women this has been a common theme.

Have you ever lived in anticipation of being invited to an event or included in a party or invited to join in a conversation and it didn't happen? I can remember standing in the church lobby one Sunday and after I had just been talking to a lady, she turned to talk to someone else, and right in front of me they made plans for lunch. Here I am longing for an invitation, for someone to notice me, to be included, for someone to see my loneliness, and it didn't happen. So those thoughts of “I'm Not Good Enough” started stirring in my heart.

When I was in middle school there were three levels of students in each grade. The students were placed in each level according to their “smarts.” Cruel! Yes! I was in the middle level. This haunted me all through high school. My nickname was giggles because I didn't smile much. When I graduated from high school I wanted to move as far away from my hometown as possible. So why is it still an option for a grown woman like me to feel like the lonely middle school girl when she didn't get asked out to lunch? What Biblical truth am I not embracing? Now it's time for me to put on my counseling hat and do some self counseling.

Do I really want my peers to make me feel “You're good enough”?

Absolutely not!

Never for one second did God look at us (me) and say, “My goal for this one is to simply be good enough.”

Without Jesus we are selfish, self-focused, and all about our fruit bringing glory to ourselves. We work and strive and exhaust ourselves all for a pursuit that leaves us with a hollowed out feeling that there's got to be more to life than chasing what we want, hoping to feel good enough.

With Jesus, we are better than good enough because He steps in and fulfills what we cannot do on our own.

John 15:1 “I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener.”

We need to stop trying to be the vine and understand our role as the branch.

John 15:1, “I am the True Vine” is the last of seven “I am” declarations of Jesus recorded only in John’s Gospel. Jesus gave us this lovely metaphor of the True Vine as one of His encouragements.

Jesus wanted His friends, not only just His disciples, but those of all time, to know that He was not going to desert them, even though they would no longer enjoy His physical presence. His living energy—His spiritual reality—would continue to nourish and sustain them just as the roots and trunk of a grape vine produce the energy that nourishes and sustains its branches while they develop their fruit. Jesus wanted us to know that, even though we cannot see Him, we are as closely connected to Him as the branches of a vine are connected to its stem. Our desire to know and love Him and the energy to serve Him will keep flowing into and through us as long as we “abide” in Him.

Jesus went on to remove any misunderstanding about what He meant. He said that no branch can even live, let alone produce leaves and fruit, by itself. Cut off from the trunk, a branch is dead. Just as a vine’s branches rely on being connected to the trunk from which they receive their energy to bear fruit, Jesus’ disciples depend on being connected to Him for their spiritual life and the ability to serve Him effectively. The fruit we produce is that of the Holy Spirit—love, joy, peace, patience, goodness, kindness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22–23). Our source of life and spiritual fruit is not in ourselves; it is outside us, in Christ Jesus. We can live, live rightly, and serve Him effectively only if we are rightly connected to Him in a faith/love relationship.

Then Jesus underscored His point even more strongly by saying, “Apart from me you can do nothing” (John 15:5). This illustration of the vine and branches is no thoughtless generality or careless simile. It is absolute, stark reality. No believer can achieve anything of spiritual value independently of Christ Jesus. 

How can I accomplish this? John 15:4 “Abide in me, and I in you. As the branch cannot bear fruit by itself, unless it abides in the vine, neither can you, unless you abide in me. “

Warren Wiersbe said “To put it another way, the better we know Jesus, the more we will love Him. The more we love Him, the more we will obey Him, and the more we obey Him, the more we will abide in Him. The more we abide in Him, the more fruit we will bear, and the more fruit we bear, the more we will experience life overflowing. It's somewhat of a spiritual chain reaction, and it begins with our decision to spend quality time with our Lord each day.”

Sounds simple! My one job in life as a practicing Christian is to stay connected. Abide in Him.

John Piper says, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”

John 15:8 “By this my Father is glorified, that you bear much fruit and so prove to be my disciples.” 

It's a domino effect; abide, bear fruit, glorify God.

The Apostle Paul said in 2 Timothy 7 “I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.” Paul never approached life to be good enough, to fit in with his peer group. Paul's hope was always as he stated in verse 8 “Henceforth there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, will award to me on that day, and not only to me but also to all who have loved his appearing.” Paul had a lot of conflict in his life, but he knew that was not his destiny.

Lysa Terkeurst stated, “You are the true Vine I cling to and receive from all that's needed to not just survive but to thrive. What I am facing today may be a delay or a distraction or even a devastation for a season, but it is not a final destination. For You, the Great I AM, will have the final say. You will write the final words to my story. And because they come from you—the source of all that is good and right and true—the words of my life will be glorious.”

So I will reject “I'm Not Good Enough.” I am rejecting that title. I am dependent on the only One powerful enough to help me. The only One sufficient enough to cover me in grace throughout the process of abiding, bearing fruit, and glorifying God.