Biblical Counseling

  BLOG

I have to admit that I am frequently tempted towards discouragement when ministering the gospel to others given my desire to see change happen (a good thing) on my timeline (a not so good thing) and also with my specific strategies at play (a good and bad thing). There are counseling situations that are so complex and require the “long haul” perspective, that is, setting aside a desired or forced timeline to finish the counseling season to trust increasingly in the Spirit to work at some undefined time in the future. So how do we navigate these types of situations with faithfulness?

As you reflect back on this past week, or month, it doesn’t take too long before you’re reminded that many people in your spheres of influence are facing trials. Many times these are situations that are over their head and the circumstances surrounding them are often complex. Life is hard and at the same time our God is always good and faithful though it all. When life gets hard, “counseling” is often mentioned as a default. How do we guide people to the next best step when life gets hard?

In December 2023 when the Widows and Widowers group met, Angie Happel introduced the group to the book Seasons of Sorrow. She read chapter 9 “My Manifesto.” In this chapter Tim confirms that he will not be defined by his son’s untimely death. Nick Challies, Tim's oldest child and only son, died on November 3, 2020, while participating in a sporting event.

Remember, here's what's amazing: our God chose to enter in and experience affliction, suffering, pain, poverty, rejection, and death. And the good news is that he has been where we are, he has been through where we are going, he conquered death, so that he's alive to help. Then as we learn and grow, we can be a help to others.

If you are a Christian, there will be times in your life that are hard. People will make fun of you, think less of you, or even verbally and physically assault you, just because you are a Christian. Your children might give you a lot of trouble after you sacrificed a lot to raise them. We can all fill in the blank, “I am afflicted because...” As a Christian, you will expect to experience some level of affliction in your life. We are not greater than Jesus and should expect the same hatred he faced as we live our lives for him.

When the Bible uses the word “learn”, it generally is referring to knowledge gained through teaching/instruction or experience. So why learning? To answer that, let's review a few common references in God’s word that help shape a Biblical worldview of “learning”.
 

I can remember standing in the church lobby one Sunday and after I had just been talking to a lady, she turned to talk to someone else, and right in front of me they made plans for lunch. Here I am longing for an invitation, for someone to notice me, to be included, for someone to see my loneliness, and it didn't happen. So those thoughts of “I'm Not Good Enough” started stirring in my heart.

…and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil. Paul’s words from Ephesians 4:26-27. What is this anger? How are we to follow this command when our most common experience is not overcome by sin in thought or deed? Following this last question, how in the world do we help young people do the same?!

John Piper coined the term Christian Hedonism in his 1986 book Desiring God. Out of that term came his most famous quote (at least for me), “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” When I counsel, this is a quote I share and have the counselee memorize. Abundant joy and total commitment to the glory of God has to go together in some way.

Souls and how they change: I've found that rudimentary concepts of Christian life are essential in counseling. A biblical understanding of what our souls are is one of these. Our souls are not so much a thing, but who we are as a person. Just who will be the person who sees Jesus' face to face in heaven? Volumes have been written on the subject, but here is a primer. I use this essay to help my counselees understand a clearer picture of why God made them. What is their purpose for their lives ... their day.

My path to becoming a biblical counselor began with God giving me an urging when I was an Elder to start a lay counseling ministry. I started my research by talking with various local churches. I concluded that the magnitude of a church counseling ministry would require a Pastor, so I started praying to that end. Thank you, Lord, for answering my prayer in an awesome way!

My introduction to Biblical Counseling was somewhat of a journey, not necessarily one specific event/resource, but a series of them that the Lord used in very impactful ways. There were three resources and a few very significant life experiences that were instrumental in shaping my view of and involvement in Biblical Counseling.

What happens when you live in fear or sadness, but perhaps you don't share or confess for fear of judgment? Do you feel that you are all alone and yearn to be with and feel connected to others? This feeling describes the emotion of loneliness.

I believe I was always being prepared by the Lord to be a biblical counselor. Of course, I didn’t realize it until I was older. But as I look back on even my childhood years, I know that each situation in my life was teaching me about hardships. And even though my spiritual life was quite shallow then, I always felt Jesus was with me and cared for me.

As you apply soul care to others, whether as a Biblical Counselor, or as one in a shepherding/disciple-making role of any kind (e.g., groups leader, mentor, parent, Pastors/Elders, ministry leader), what does it look like for you to be cared for in similar ways?