Enduring the "Long Haul"

Author: Steve Duffy

 

I have to admit that I am frequently tempted towards discouragement when ministering the gospel to others given my desire to see change happen (a good thing) on my timeline (a not so good thing) and also with my specific strategies at play (a good and bad thing). There are counseling situations that are so complex and require the “long haul” perspective, that is, setting aside a desired or forced timeline to finish the counseling season to trust increasingly in the Spirit to work at some undefined time in the future. So how do we navigate these types of situations with faithfulness?

 

There are some things that I’ve found helpful over the past few years specifically. Namely in working through very complex situations that others faced as well as my own family situation.

 

Start with moving from complex to simple…

 

I’m not saying a complex issue can become simple, what I mean here is to address only one piece of the larger situation at hand. The imagery that comes to mind is of fixing the “birds nests” of fishing line that my kids used to end up with. Rarely was there a time that I took my kids fishing where they didn’t end up with one very large mass of tangled line. Looking at the tangled mess as a whole I could have not even engaged and just cut the line and moved on. That is one option. There is also something powerful about starting with one part of the “nest”, and working my way through it to untangle one little piece at a time. Something satisfying about just one step, then another, then another. Not needing to navigate anything but the one thing that touched my fingers.

 

I see a similar principle at play with counseling others. What I hear as presenting issues (and for complex situations they can easily number into the 10’s) are all important, but after some time, what might be the most pressing issue, or the one that has a good opportunity to make progress given how fresh it is, or how frequent it is? Just pick one thing to focus on, to choose that as the path to dive deeper. My sense is that as you address the heart behind this issue, that it touches other areas of living that are not producing good fruit. As we all know, at the root of all sin is idolatry, self worship. So ultimately what you are doing is to chart one path to the heart, not trying to chart out 2, 4, or 10!

 

Reflection: How do you decide which path to start with?

 

Contentment in each faithful step…

 

Easy enough, just be content! That gets especially challenging in long haul cases, where months go by and at times very little change is observed. I’m reminded of Paul’s words in Philippians 4:11-13…

Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. I can do all things through him who strengthens me.

 

Paul repeats the phrase “I have learned”, meaning it was in and through the circumstances he faced that contentment took shape. Ultimately, it was the result of Christ’s strength, not anything he could attain himself. That is VERY freeing! And with this, rather than a focus on a large complex set of issues, choosing one simple path to bring the gospel to bear in the life of another, and taking tangible steps to accomplish that only adds to the freedom we can gain in the journey. Free from expectation, demands, assumptions, etc, all of which move us to try to be the Spirit of God. Rather, we remain faithful to each instance of preparation, each counseling session, each adjustment/adaptation in deciding the next step, and then complete that next step faithfully. The cliche “one step at a time” works well here!

 

Reflection: What does contentment in the counseling journey look like for you, and how do you know you are experiencing it?

 

Trust the supernatural - God’s word, prayer, the Spirit…

 

The whole process is about the supernatural. First, as a believer, I have to acknowledge that sitting across the table from another believer in a counseling context in itself is a miracle. A miracle, that God would breathe life into dead souls (mine and theirs), awaken them through the gift of faith in Christ alone, and then set them on a path to be shaped into the image of Jesus. Add to this the confident hope we have in the life to come. Yes, we work in this world, we labor, we see the flesh before us, our own and our counselee. Therein lies the temptation, that getting so drawn into the circumstances before you, the complexity of multiple sins and impacts of those sins over time, the desire to see change and relief quickly for them, we could easily turn to our own devices to try to “accelerate” that process only to be met with frustration and discouragement. Rather, we pray, again and again, as much as “continually” God enables us to, and we wait on the Lord by the Spirit to move, change, transform, renew, restore.

 

And with the previous, we are always using the “living and active” word of God to accomplish, by the Spirit, the change that we long to see happen. As the writer of Hebrews puts it in 4:12,

For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart.

We need that frequent reminder that it is God’s word, by the Spirit, that is doing the heart surgery needed to change a counselee.

 

Reflection: How heavily do you rely on the living and active word of God to rule in you richly, and the same for requiring that of your counselee as their homework, trusting in prayer and the work of the Spirit for each session and for life-change in between sessions?

 

Rely on the body…

 

This one also goes without stating. We have to rely on the body of Christ to help in these complex situations. This may even involve some in the wider church family. For complex cases there are usually whole families involved, so that calls upon many to fill niche needs in the care for the individuals in a family. So outside of an advocate, we might also have other Pastors/Elders, one or more forms of our groups involved, other mentors, outside counseling services if available. Along with this, there may need to be frequent debriefs for prayer and counsel, as well as care for the counselor or mentor. God has supernaturally fit His people to care well for one another, leverage as many people as possible as a help!!

 

Reflection: How often do you consider involving others in those you are caring for in a counseling case? Are you being cared for in the journey as well?

 

A final word…

 

Can I encourage you not to lose sight of these principles and reflect on the previous questions noted as a help to evaluate your most recent counseling cases or mentoring relationships? The long haul cases are wearisome, yet also most fulfilling as the Lord works in His timing. May the Lord continue to shape you, bless you, carry you, help you, empower you, and satisfy you in Himself as you come alongside others to minister the gospel to them!

Recent Posts

I have to admit that I am frequently tempted towards discouragement when ministering the gospel to others given my desire to see change happen (a good thing) on my timeline (a not so good thing) and also with my specific strategies at play (a good and bad thing). There are counseling situations that are so complex and require the “long haul” perspective, that is, setting aside a desired or forced timeline to finish the counseling season to trust increasingly in the Spirit to work at some undefined time in the future. So how do we navigate these types of situations with faithfulness?

A Growth Group is 2 to 4 women meeting regularly with openness and vulnerability, to encourage one another to grow in becoming more like Jesus. They are designed for women to talk with one another about how what they are learning is directly impacting, challenging, and encouraging them in their walk with Jesus. It is so encouraging to hear how women’s lives are being transformed by these intimate groups filled with sisters in Christ spurring each other on.

As you reflect back on this past week, or month, it doesn’t take too long before you’re reminded that many people in your spheres of influence are facing trials. Many times these are situations that are over their head and the circumstances surrounding them are often complex. Life is hard and at the same time our God is always good and faithful though it all. When life gets hard, “counseling” is often mentioned as a default. How do we guide people to the next best step when life gets hard?