Author: Elaine Brown
Book: Seasons of Sorrow The Pain of Loss and the Comfort of God by Tim Challies
In December 2023 when the Widows and Widowers group met, Angie Happel introduced the group to the book Seasons of Sorrow. She read chapter 9 “My Manifesto.” In this chapter Tim confirms that he will not be defined by his son’s untimely death. Nick Challies, Tim's oldest child and only son, died on November 3, 2020, while participating in a sporting event.
After Angie read this chapter I knew I needed to read this book and I had her order me three copies, one for me, one for my daughter Carrie (Ted, Carrie's husband died October 31, 2023 at the age of 45), and one for Betty, Ted's mother. I just finished reading the book as I could only read one chapter at a time. I needed Kleenex every time I sat down to read.
Tim walks the reader through his grief over his son. He divides it into four seasons, fall, winter, spring, and summer.
What did Randy Alcorn say about this book, “Yet it is a hopeful book that embraces the blood-bought promises of God that one day he will reverse the curse and swallow up death forever.”
What did Nancy Guthrie say about this book, “In the winter of his sorrow, Tim Challies writes that he wants to be found to be a good steward of what God entrusted him, not in the life, but in the death of his son.” Sounds familiar doesn't it. We are to be ambassadors for Christ using our life experiences.
In the fall section, Tim wrote in the chapter “God is Good All the Time” these words: “To say, “Thy will be done,” is to say, “Thy goodness is shown.” It's to seek out evidence of God's goodness even in the hardest of his providence. It's to worship him, even with a broken heart. As I blessed him in the giving (of Nick), I will bless him in the taking, for he is good all the time and all the time he is good.” (page 30)
In the winter section, Tim wrote in the chapter “What Do You Do With Grief?” these words: “And then, inspired by the apostle Paul, I find myself praying that they would forget (Tim's family), remember, and press on. I pray that they would forget their grief in the sense that they would refuse to be defined by it or be made useless to the Lord's purposes because of it. I pray that they would remember their grief in the sense that it is now a part of their story and a part that has equipped them for more and better service to God. And I pray that they would press on through their grief, with hearts softened by loss, hands fitted by sorrow, feet running by faith, and arms always straining forward, always press on toward the goal for the prize for which God is calling them heavenward.” (page 60)
“We've been called to a new task now, a new stewardship, and it falls to us to prove faithful in his death. We labored to raise him in a way that brings glory to God; we now labor to release him in a way that brings glory to God.” (page 71, Stewarding Sorrow chapter)
During our grief we must hold fast to the truth of Scripture. God has called us to trust Him in the dry deserts as well as the green pastures.
In the Spring section, Tim wrote in the chapter “How Many Children Do I Have?” these words: “I am not a father of the dead, but of the living—the two living here with me on earth and the one living there (in heaven) with God.” (page 109)
Yesterday is in the past and tomorrow is never guaranteed. There is only ever today. Jesus addresses this in Matthew 6:19-34. Make the most of each day to glorify the Lord in all you do.
In the Summer section, Tim wrote “Eventually we had to learn to live this new life God has called us to.” (page 144)
In the chapter “The Ministry of Sorrow”, Tim wrote these words: “Through this ministry of sorrow, I can testify before a skeptical world that one who praises God in the giving can also praise him in the taking, that one who honors God in times of great joy will still honor him in times of great loss. I can bear witness that faith can survive sorrow, that we can be content even in loss, that when we are weak, then we are truly strong, for it is when we are weak, that he provides us with his strength.” (page 152) When Tim first came to Christ he offered himself to God to be used for his purposes rather than his own, pursue His glory rather than his own. It was Tim's prayer that God would make him useful, that he would equip him to minister in the way the was most needful. So now how could he rebel? How could he complain? God did no more than Tim asked him to do.
In the chapter “Well Done, Good and Faithful Dad”, Tim wrote these words: “While I knew that ultimately I must live for the glory of God and for his commendation, I was determined to live in such an upright and honorable way that I would also receive Nick's. And so instead of my life being an example to him, it has become a tribute.” (page 189) When Tim and Nick are reunited in heaven, I am sure that Nick will say “well done, good and faithful dad.”
God calls some to bear His goodness in grief. We are fitted to the ministry of sorrow by suffering loss.
What application is there to biblical counseling? Some of the women I have counseled have suffered loss in terms of relationships and their heart is broken and they have allowed themselves to be defined by the experience. This book is good because our experience should not define us. Example, God called me to be a widow. Should I be mad at God because He took my husband at age 50 or do I use my experience to glorify God and reach out to other suffering the same loss. Whatever your loss, don't waste it on self-pity, choose to glorify God with it.
