Author: Pastor Steve Duffy
As you apply soul care to others, whether as a Biblical Counselor, or as one in a shepherding/disciple-making role of any kind (e.g., groups leader, mentor, parent, Pastors/Elders, ministry leader), what does it look like for you to be cared for in similar ways? There are a few key categories that I think of in the area of care for myself aside from regular spiritual disciplines with God’s word, prayer and fasting, both individually and with others; various forms of sabbath rest and the ministry of others towards me.
Various Forms of Sabbath Rest
When it comes to various forms of sabbath rest and their purpose in my own care, the following have served me well in nurturing an abiding relationship with Christ through purposed times of refreshment in the Lord:
- Weekly Sabbath rest - an intentional weekly rhythm, 1 day out of 7, of rest and well-being - derived from the 4th commandment in Ex 20:8-11 (patterned after the Lord in the Genesis 1 creation account), and the new covenant realities of the Sabbath in Jesus Christ (Matthew 12:8 and context, Hebrews 4:9-10 and context). Our aim here is to refresh in our assurance of Christ’s finished work, that work applied to us, which grants us the presence of God now (in us), joyfully sitting in this current reality along with the hopeful reflection of the fullness of the reality to come. With this type of intentional rest, refreshment sourced from the Lord comes!
- “As-needed” Sabbath rests - situational along the way - some days are harder than others, some days or a string of days laboring over weighty matters gives cause for an unplanned break for the same reasons as the weekly Sabbath rest. This might look like taking an afternoon off, or a day, or even arriving late to start a work day.
Planned Sabbath rests from primary ministry activity - intentional breaks in ministry - again, the primary reasons would be similar as the weekly Sabbath rest. This could look like an extended 1-2-3 month planned Sabbath for those in vocational ministry, but I’ve also seen companies start to offer this for some employees’ benefit packages. I have also seen lay ministry counselors employ something like a winter exodus to the southern area of the US (much warmer!), or once the counseling load decreases to no cases then taking an intentional break (several weeks) before taking on any new cases.
Refreshment in the Lord through the various forms of sabbath rest is central to my self-care. I still have room to grow in this area but have reaped the benefits of introducing the “as needed” Sabbath rests in my life over the past two years and am grateful that I have the support and feel the freedom to do this!
Ministry of Others Towards Me
Although I feel like I’m doing well at the Sabbath rest area currently, I can’t say that I’m doing as well in the ministry of others towards me and reaping the benefits of others caring for me. And that is mainly on me! I know I can grow so accustomed to the rhythms of focusing on others that I sometimes neglect inviting (or ignore attempts by) others coming alongside me. This is mostly unintentional but it is still sin, pride at its core, to live in such a way that I’m not aware of the one anothering opportunities that are before me every day, or at least receiving them in their fullness. How do I know that I’m in this spot? Here are a few examples:
Recent: I had lunch this week with another brother in Christ. At the end of our lunch, he was expressing how much he appreciated our friendship over the years. He had some very specific encouraging words to say. I was taken aback. I immediately went to two places with this; 1) why was I not saying the same to him, or why did I not beat him to sharing in this way? 2) downplaying the impact I had on him initially. Both of these are manifestations of pride. I was immediately convicted and turned it around to giving thanks to Him for his encouragement and praising God for forging this friendship. This exchange was eye-opening to me though, and I could start to think about other instances of meaningful encouragement that have occurred this past week toward me that I downplayed or moved too quickly by. Ugh! I don’t want to miss this element of care that God has built into my life, so the exercise of repentance in this specific area has opened me back up to being way more aware of this even as the week had progressed.- In the past: I know I’m off base when others ask how I am really doing or ask if they can pray for me and I’m caught off guard by the request. Again, pride in the mix. Why should I be shocked, it is likely normative but I’m ignoring it more often by just answering and going through those motions rather than leaning into that as a time to be ministered to.
So who cares for you? Who knows you well enough to ask how you are doing, how you are really doing? Aside from the Lord, who do you go to share in the deeper things you are dealing with for counsel, encouragement, and prayer? If you are married, ensure your spouse is one of them! And also, consider at least one other brother/sister in Christ of the same sex for deeper fellowship and accountability in this way. On top of that, there are likely many encounters with God’s people that very well can serve as an opportunity to care for you. Engage them with this in mind, not for selfish gain, but for mutual encouragement in the Lord since this is built into God’s design for His people as evidenced by the multiple “one anothers” in the Scriptures.
Now go rest some and receive encouragement from others as God’s provision of care for you!
