Author: Pastor Steve Duffy
I recently heard a friend speak about law-filled shepherding versus grace-filled shepherding. In speaking about these concepts from the letter to the Galatians he used the analogy of one carrying a backpack with bricks (i.e., burdens), with a law-filled approach adding to bricks and a grace-filled approach taking them away. For the young people, who are being trained in the ways of the gospel of Christ, are you a person who adds bricks or takes them away from their backpack? How would you know?
It’s not that this was a new concept to me. Jesus spoke of such a concept when he mentioned the weight (i.e., burdens) that the religious leaders in his day placed on those who were seeking after God. He said it this way in Matthew 23:
23 Then Jesus said to the crowds and to his disciples, 2 “The scribes and the Pharisees sit on Moses' seat, 3 so do and observe whatever they tell you, but not the works they do. For they preach, but do not practice. 4 They tie up heavy burdens, hard to bear, and lay them on people's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to move them with their finger. 5 They do all their deeds to be seen by others.
The issue is not even about sinful things in themselves, but centers around the law, which is good! Jesus even said, in v.3 “do and observe whatever they tell you”, emphasizing that which God has spoken about and not the extra teachings/traditions added to the law by the religious leaders of the day. The issue is twofold in vv. 1-12; 1) they do not do what they teach (v.3) yet expect others to do what they teach (v.4), and 2) when they actually do what they teach they do so with wrong motives, to be seen by others (v.5, examples in vv.5-7). The issue is a heart issue, a deep seated pride as vv.8-12 unpacks.
So how does this translate to adding bricks or taking them away from the backpacks of young people? I’d submit the following translate well as a parent/guardian/leader who aims to influence young people to Christ:
- Keep the main things the main thing and praise them in these
- Let grace abound always to shepherd towards making progress
Keep the main things the main thing and praise them in these. We can swerve toward pride when we try to make every aspect of young peoples lives fit a mold, our image, our version of living, and go as far as influencing toward this one “right way”. This is adding bricks. Fold your socks this way, stack your books that way, organize your calendar like this, manage your money using this tool. The specific “how’s” become the focus rather than on the “what”. When the “how” becomes the emphasis, we need to evaluate if we have made our “how” a law onto itself. Teaching and showing them “how’s” is not a bad thing, young people need a starting point, an example to learn from. An easy evaluation is to ask is if 1) my “how” is the only consideration/option (or do we consider another way that young people have found to still accomplish the “what”), and 2) when there is a failure, is the measure of failure against my “how” and response to remedy it according to my standard? An example, cleaning the bathroom; my definition of clean is that it is done in a certain way, the way I’ve been doing it for years (a deep clean), resulting in a certain look when it is all complete. However, when a young person completes the same task what gets the focus? All the shortcomings related to my definition/standards, all the ways that the task was completed in ways different than my way, a charge to correct all shortcomings in accordance with my definition/standards? Rather, place the emphasis on the responsibility to clean the bathroom and to see it through to completion in the committed window of time. The definition of “cleanliness” and the means (the “how”) to get it done are secondary, meaning they are important but these are the things that are learned typically through experience. There actually may be more than one viable way to get something done, and there are degrees of “cleanliness”. Honestly, if after my own definition of clean is accomplished, if I took a high powered flashlight to inspect, along with a white glove, I assure you there is still dirt and room for more cleaning! It just depends on how much you want to magnify the “imperfect” job! That leads us into the second main area, grace!
Let grace abound always to shepherd towards making progress. The previous point about the “imperfect job” is key. As ones who influence young people we have to have clarity (and be reminded of such often) that we fall short, more often than we’d like to admit. That applies to cleaning the bathroom all the way to the depths of our inner self (beliefs, desires, thoughts). If we took the high powered flashlight of God’s word to evaluate our own heart, we realize how much we need God’s grace every moment of the day. Hebrews 4:12-13 states, For the word of God is living and active, sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing to the division of soul and of spirit, of joints and of marrow, and discerning the thoughts and intentions of the heart. And no creature is hidden from his sight, but all are naked and exposed to the eyes of him to whom we must give account. Just as the issue with the religious leaders in Matthew 23 was deeply rooted pride, so to is our own issue when we head toward a law-based shepherding, adding bricks of our own crafting to the backpacks of young people. Rather, when we see the shortcomings there does need to be correction (and maybe even rebuke) and teaching, but it is the mode of operation that matters most. What are you correcting, what is the standard of that correction, and how is it being delivered? See previous point about the main things! And in your correction and teaching are these accomplished in such a way that their failures are not defining them, shaping their identity, but rather used to learn, to grow, to make progress in the main things? This mode of operation takes away bricks from the backpack, it is grace-based shepherding. I’m imagining even over time that the end result also starts to look different, but is not required to. It is just that with changing young people and maturity they produce different outcomes as time goes on. So back to the bathroom, maybe it does get cleaner as the months/years go by, but more importantly the hope is that there is growth in owning the task of cleaning it (e.g., from taking it all on themselves, to doing it without being asked, to making it a part of their routine, to finding new ways to clean to accomplish the task, etc) and completion becomes normative.
The bathroom cleaning example is a simple one. Take the previous principles and translate that into the more challenging aspects of raising young people such as friendships (both with the same sex and opposite sex), lust, anger, fear, despair, etc. In doing so, we feel the weight of parenting and leading young people. We also see the very real temptations to drift towards law-based shepherding (adding bricks) since this is a far easier approach yet with little fruit in their journey to be shaped into the image of Christ (rather the image of a Pharisee). It is a “weighty” calling to live in a grace-based shepherding mode (removing bricks), to journey with young people keeping our eyes on the main things as noted and lavishing them in grace and truth along the way… just as we have been lavished in the grace and truth of God in Christ!
In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of our trespasses, according to the riches of his grace, which he lavished upon us, in all wisdom and insight, …” - Ephesians 1:7-8
Photo by Adam Hornyak on Unsplash
